ever since i started my college career, i have felt this desperate need to redeem the time i lost after high school. you see, i am not your traditional student...i messed up my life in so many ways after i graduated from high school. so, i have felt blessed with the opportunity to redeem myself. the wonderful opportunity, however, came with a huge responsibility: DO IT RIGHT!!! thus, i have been killing myself for each grade. i have struggled through many semesters, but i have never faltered. you see, my dear reader, i was trying to redeem my past. in vain i have tried, only to come to the sudden realization that i can't. only Jesus can redeem me--my past, my fears, and my sins.
***********************************************
Below is a beautiful poem written by Jael Sprinkle. Thank you so much!!!
She sits and studies in a chair
Near the window
With clear air
Filtering through
Releasing cares of
Her grow-up life.
She's a girl again
Sweet and pretty
With a mind and a will
And a dream
But the woman inside her
brings the fight that lights
her alive and gives her a drive
and keeps her turning
page upon page upon
pencil scratched page
til she's written the world
exactly the way
she wishes.
It's a fight-
And the light's gone low
her supper's cold
but she closes her book and
turns off the lamp.
Quietly she crosses the living room
to kiss her sleeping husband who waited
until he dozed on the couch, the television on.
She presses "off" then makes her way down
the hall to her sleeping daughters
to catch a glimpse of their small faces
to remember the reason she's turning the pages
of a life once stale, now full, overflowing
with trying and fighting and pushing and moving
everything around until it fits
just the way she wanted it.
Her life, once small, now large enough
for grandchildren and intelligent love
and students that might never have known
this lovely world that she has presented to them
from the crisp pages
she was up til midnight
crafting with her very soul
to move their very souls
to see the world
she wrote for her children's children.
You have my every confidence. Hang in there friend!!
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
for the week ending 10/16
well, another week is in the books. i did so-so and i'm just glad the week is over. there are now officially eight weeks left in the semester. and, eight times 3 is 24, so that means that i have 24 more days of this agonizing term left.
grammar: we learned about adverbs and particles. particles are actually a lot of fun. they can be moved around in a sentence with no problem. i.e. Gage put off the operation. Gage put the operation off. She turned in the exam. She turned the exam in. OFF and IN are the particles and they can be moved around in a sentence. adverbs, on the other hand, are not fun at all! i actually have to engage my brain...
hemingway: we started a farewell to arms. i wish i had read romeo and juliet. a farewell to arms is suppose to be hemingway's romeo and juliet and i don't see the comparisons because i've never read romeo and juliet.
american novel: we are still reading the scarlet letter. what can i say? dimmesdale put himself through hell for not confessing. hester, on the other hand, seems to me like she gave the puritans "h*ll" by defiantly wearing the scarlet letter.
descriptive linguistics: i missed monday's lecture, and i had a lost feeling all week. i missed the lecture on prepositional phrases. we took a quiz on friday. i know for sure that i labeled "may" as a complement, when it was really an auxilary verb. oh, well...
literary theory: I'M DYING!!!!!!! i really don't get "IT." i think the schools are fighting over abstract things that will never have an absolute answer. to think that some people have made this their life's work is mind-boggling!
en francais: i'm still trying to learn french. i am reading "le petit prince." c'est tres interessant!
that is it for this past week. i need to work on some homework that is due tommorow.
au revoir!
grammar: we learned about adverbs and particles. particles are actually a lot of fun. they can be moved around in a sentence with no problem. i.e. Gage put off the operation. Gage put the operation off. She turned in the exam. She turned the exam in. OFF and IN are the particles and they can be moved around in a sentence. adverbs, on the other hand, are not fun at all! i actually have to engage my brain...
hemingway: we started a farewell to arms. i wish i had read romeo and juliet. a farewell to arms is suppose to be hemingway's romeo and juliet and i don't see the comparisons because i've never read romeo and juliet.
american novel: we are still reading the scarlet letter. what can i say? dimmesdale put himself through hell for not confessing. hester, on the other hand, seems to me like she gave the puritans "h*ll" by defiantly wearing the scarlet letter.
descriptive linguistics: i missed monday's lecture, and i had a lost feeling all week. i missed the lecture on prepositional phrases. we took a quiz on friday. i know for sure that i labeled "may" as a complement, when it was really an auxilary verb. oh, well...
literary theory: I'M DYING!!!!!!! i really don't get "IT." i think the schools are fighting over abstract things that will never have an absolute answer. to think that some people have made this their life's work is mind-boggling!
en francais: i'm still trying to learn french. i am reading "le petit prince." c'est tres interessant!
that is it for this past week. i need to work on some homework that is due tommorow.
au revoir!
Friday, October 9, 2009
for the week ending on 10/08
this week was a mixed bag. on the one hand, i received excellent grades on two tests. on the other hand, I AM BEAT!!! i feel beat both mentally and physically. And, there is still nine more agonzing weeks before this is all over.
but, here we go:
Grammar: Are "a" and "an" indefinite or definite articles? Well, let me tell you, judging by the three points I lost on the test, they are INDEFINITE articles. If I had taken the time to engage my brain, I think I would have gotten the right answer.
let me see, what else? we started studying adverbs today. i think adverbs are the hardest, most misunderstood, i-don't-want-to-study-them kind of words. why? i guess because they are unclear to me. for example, i have adjectives down pat: a part of speech that modifies a noun. i.e., beautiful, handsome, pretty, etc. but, adverbs modify verbs. hmm? if they end in -ly, i have no problem. but, enough already about adverbs.
Hemingway: i took a test last friday and did well. what would i be able to say about hemi that would add to the extensive scholarship that already exists? NOTHING!! we read short stories all of this week; mostly about Italy. i do wonder, though, if he saw/experienced first hand the change of values after wwi. we all know that he served with the italians during the war, but did he realize all that had changed after the war when he went back?
American Novel: we have started reading the scarlet letter. ah, hester, hester, why did you get yourself into so much trouble? was dimmesdale worth it? or was it that chillingsworth was not worth keeping? the puritans, you must admit, were extremely harsh and practically Godless. they had NO mercy! perhaps my statement is harsh, but i wonder how could they demonstrate God's mercy?
Descriptive Linguistics: oh, my goodness! trees, trees, and more trees. S--> NP VP. or S--> NP VP PP, something like that. we took a quiz today...
Literary Theory: dr. b lectured on historical criticism and the yellow wallpaper. she nearly had a confession out of me. "yes, it's too true! i am the woman in the yellow wallpaper trying desperately to get out! i have need to work--I have not worked these passed 11 years."
ay, ay, ay...
et parce qu'est vendredi, aujourd'hui, je suis allee a mon "cours" de francais.
i didn't do too well. i need to take these french lessons more seriously.
that is all folks!
we will see what the next week will bring.
bien a vous!
but, here we go:
Grammar: Are "a" and "an" indefinite or definite articles? Well, let me tell you, judging by the three points I lost on the test, they are INDEFINITE articles. If I had taken the time to engage my brain, I think I would have gotten the right answer.
let me see, what else? we started studying adverbs today. i think adverbs are the hardest, most misunderstood, i-don't-want-to-study-them kind of words. why? i guess because they are unclear to me. for example, i have adjectives down pat: a part of speech that modifies a noun. i.e., beautiful, handsome, pretty, etc. but, adverbs modify verbs. hmm? if they end in -ly, i have no problem. but, enough already about adverbs.
Hemingway: i took a test last friday and did well. what would i be able to say about hemi that would add to the extensive scholarship that already exists? NOTHING!! we read short stories all of this week; mostly about Italy. i do wonder, though, if he saw/experienced first hand the change of values after wwi. we all know that he served with the italians during the war, but did he realize all that had changed after the war when he went back?
American Novel: we have started reading the scarlet letter. ah, hester, hester, why did you get yourself into so much trouble? was dimmesdale worth it? or was it that chillingsworth was not worth keeping? the puritans, you must admit, were extremely harsh and practically Godless. they had NO mercy! perhaps my statement is harsh, but i wonder how could they demonstrate God's mercy?
Descriptive Linguistics: oh, my goodness! trees, trees, and more trees. S--> NP VP. or S--> NP VP PP, something like that. we took a quiz today...
Literary Theory: dr. b lectured on historical criticism and the yellow wallpaper. she nearly had a confession out of me. "yes, it's too true! i am the woman in the yellow wallpaper trying desperately to get out! i have need to work--I have not worked these passed 11 years."
ay, ay, ay...
et parce qu'est vendredi, aujourd'hui, je suis allee a mon "cours" de francais.
i didn't do too well. i need to take these french lessons more seriously.
that is all folks!
we will see what the next week will bring.
bien a vous!
Monday, September 28, 2009
The French Correction
Below is an email conversation with my French tutor. Her email is the first one, of course, she is responding to what I sent her (which is the second one--with all the corrections). What can I say, but "Ben, un jour je poudrais ecrive le francais." (I think that is right, I don't know. I should probably include it in my next email to her.)
Hello!
I'm soo sorry to hear that you're not good, but don't worry, your normal classes and your home come first! French tutoring should not be a burden for you so if you feel too busy, stressed or tired don't worry... you'll just do the excercise later, even if it's a week after!Your French is not bad at all (I corrected some things, but it's still good :) ).
For now I'll just say try to rest !!! and Good luck for tomorrow, I'm sure everything will go well :)
Good night !
I feel like i should label this email with a warning, such as:
CAUTION: You are about to read horrible French--please forgive me for I know not what I write!
Bonjour!
Ça va pas mal [you would say "ça va mal" or "ça ne va pas" and if you want to insist on the fact that it's you, you should say "je vais mal" or "je ne vais pas bien"] (is it avec moi? to say that it doesn't go well with me. or do I say pour moi--to say for me?) Je suis très occupée parce que mon emploi du temps c'est [no need for "c'" you should say mon emploi du temps est très chargé] très chargé. Demain je passer [je passes] un examen dans mon cour [de] descriptive linguistics. C’est très difficile ! Mais, je ne veux pas étudier plus. [it's ok!] (I’m trying to say that I don’t want to study anymore.) Je suis très fatiguée maintenant. Je fais [you should use past tense, and you would say then "j'ai fais" ] le ménage aujourd’hui, parce que je suis le esclave/slave/esclava [ une esclave] dans ma maison et j’etudie aujourd’hui, aussi. Je veux faire mes devoirs du [de] Français demain après mon cours.
Au revior !
Hello!
I'm soo sorry to hear that you're not good, but don't worry, your normal classes and your home come first! French tutoring should not be a burden for you so if you feel too busy, stressed or tired don't worry... you'll just do the excercise later, even if it's a week after!Your French is not bad at all (I corrected some things, but it's still good :) ).
For now I'll just say try to rest !!! and Good luck for tomorrow, I'm sure everything will go well :)
Good night !
I feel like i should label this email with a warning, such as:
CAUTION: You are about to read horrible French--please forgive me for I know not what I write!
Bonjour!
Ça va pas mal [you would say "ça va mal" or "ça ne va pas" and if you want to insist on the fact that it's you, you should say "je vais mal" or "je ne vais pas bien"] (is it avec moi? to say that it doesn't go well with me. or do I say pour moi--to say for me?) Je suis très occupée parce que mon emploi du temps c'est [no need for "c'" you should say mon emploi du temps est très chargé] très chargé. Demain je passer [je passes] un examen dans mon cour [de] descriptive linguistics. C’est très difficile ! Mais, je ne veux pas étudier plus. [it's ok!] (I’m trying to say that I don’t want to study anymore.) Je suis très fatiguée maintenant. Je fais [you should use past tense, and you would say then "j'ai fais" ] le ménage aujourd’hui, parce que je suis le esclave/slave/esclava [ une esclave] dans ma maison et j’etudie aujourd’hui, aussi. Je veux faire mes devoirs du [de] Français demain après mon cours.
Au revior !
Sunday, September 20, 2009
what i've learned/what i know
several years ago, i would post these entries throughout my semester. i want to start writing them again. i think they give me a good pulse on how my semester is going. they also help me count my long weeks down. so here we go:
what i've learned:
school started on august 31, and tomorrow will be september 21--i guess that is about three weeks? (i really don't feel like doing the math :)
Grammar:
it turns out i really like the professor, dr. heckler. although he seems like a very serious man, he has these little quirks and sayings that make him very affable. so far i've done o.k. in the class. i do remember, however, a homework assignment that appears to be bleeding profusely. my only saving grace is that homework is only corrected, but not graded--thank you Lord! another very interesting tidbit I've learned is the origin of the word grammar. according to the professor it comes from the greek word "gramma" which means something in writing. and then the french word grammaire which was a combination of occult and learning. the occult learning, of course, was done when the church prevented the people from learning how to read or write. therefore, it was done in secret. he had another comment on the word spell--which could mean putting words together with the alphabet or as in magic, a magic spell. i don't know about you, but i find that kind of nerdy stuff very interesting!
Hemingway:
we have mostly gone through his short stories and should be starting The Sun Also Rises tomorrow. my biggest connection or apparent thought process is whether or not Hemingway meant to correlate the still born baby at the end of A Farewell to Arms to the fake peace agreements after World War I. when i worked on a mid-term for my history class last semester, i came across that theme. it was by a guy named Edmond Taylor in his book, The Fall of the Dynasties, written in 1963. this is what he thought WWI was about and its consequences, "...the story of the decline and fall and rebirth of despotism, of blind leaders and deluded masses of old wrongs perpetuated and of new ones imposed, of revolution leading to war and war leading to revolutions, of peace still-born, of hopes once more aroused and again betrayed, of vast regressions, of one small, halting step forward" (397). i don't know, haven't studied enough to know if Hemingway was making that same connection, but i think it a nice coincidence (even if it exist only in my brain).
Dev. of Am. Novel:
seriously, i have no opinion to give. or rather, i will keep it to myself for now. suffice it to say, i want my money back!!!!
Descriptive Linguistics:
this is proving to be a hard class. is it ox/en or oxen. how many morphemes? is it human/itari/an? discreteness? arbitrariness? mode of communication? morphology? phonology? i must say, it is all GREEKOLOGY to me! i will find out tomorrow (probably) when the professor returns the quiz.
Survery of Literary Theory:
this week we read "The Yellow Wallpaper" and "Ode on a Grecian Urn." i so wished that i had paid a little more attention to the presentation on the yellow wallpaper given by some students when i was in mrs. sample's class. i must admit that i had never read the story in its entirety. apparently the woman is suffering from post-partum depression. but, it is my impression that she had suffered all of her life with mental illness; which is what i wrote because i think the professor wanted to hear our thoughts--no matter how crazy (no pun intended, of course) they were. as far as Keats poem, my pitiful attempt at interpreting the last sentence, "Beauty is truth, truth beauty,"--that is all / Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know" is that the beauty of the grecian urn is the only thing (perhaps not the only thing, but an important thing) that has remained from that ancient civilization. that is my story, and i guess i can stick to it, until someone tells me why i'm wrong.
what i know:
i know that my body is breaking down. i have awful pains in my legs. and i'm trying to get back into jogging with little success.
my one bright and shining spot in the whole week was the one hour i spent with my french tutor. je suis tres heurese. i am very happy. the bible instructs us not to despise the day of small beginnings. friday was such a day of small beginnings for me. my hope and dream is to learn french. c'est mon reve.
a bientot!
what i've learned:
school started on august 31, and tomorrow will be september 21--i guess that is about three weeks? (i really don't feel like doing the math :)
Grammar:
it turns out i really like the professor, dr. heckler. although he seems like a very serious man, he has these little quirks and sayings that make him very affable. so far i've done o.k. in the class. i do remember, however, a homework assignment that appears to be bleeding profusely. my only saving grace is that homework is only corrected, but not graded--thank you Lord! another very interesting tidbit I've learned is the origin of the word grammar. according to the professor it comes from the greek word "gramma" which means something in writing. and then the french word grammaire which was a combination of occult and learning. the occult learning, of course, was done when the church prevented the people from learning how to read or write. therefore, it was done in secret. he had another comment on the word spell--which could mean putting words together with the alphabet or as in magic, a magic spell. i don't know about you, but i find that kind of nerdy stuff very interesting!
Hemingway:
we have mostly gone through his short stories and should be starting The Sun Also Rises tomorrow. my biggest connection or apparent thought process is whether or not Hemingway meant to correlate the still born baby at the end of A Farewell to Arms to the fake peace agreements after World War I. when i worked on a mid-term for my history class last semester, i came across that theme. it was by a guy named Edmond Taylor in his book, The Fall of the Dynasties, written in 1963. this is what he thought WWI was about and its consequences, "...the story of the decline and fall and rebirth of despotism, of blind leaders and deluded masses of old wrongs perpetuated and of new ones imposed, of revolution leading to war and war leading to revolutions, of peace still-born, of hopes once more aroused and again betrayed, of vast regressions, of one small, halting step forward" (397). i don't know, haven't studied enough to know if Hemingway was making that same connection, but i think it a nice coincidence (even if it exist only in my brain).
Dev. of Am. Novel:
seriously, i have no opinion to give. or rather, i will keep it to myself for now. suffice it to say, i want my money back!!!!
Descriptive Linguistics:
this is proving to be a hard class. is it ox/en or oxen. how many morphemes? is it human/itari/an? discreteness? arbitrariness? mode of communication? morphology? phonology? i must say, it is all GREEKOLOGY to me! i will find out tomorrow (probably) when the professor returns the quiz.
Survery of Literary Theory:
this week we read "The Yellow Wallpaper" and "Ode on a Grecian Urn." i so wished that i had paid a little more attention to the presentation on the yellow wallpaper given by some students when i was in mrs. sample's class. i must admit that i had never read the story in its entirety. apparently the woman is suffering from post-partum depression. but, it is my impression that she had suffered all of her life with mental illness; which is what i wrote because i think the professor wanted to hear our thoughts--no matter how crazy (no pun intended, of course) they were. as far as Keats poem, my pitiful attempt at interpreting the last sentence, "Beauty is truth, truth beauty,"--that is all / Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know" is that the beauty of the grecian urn is the only thing (perhaps not the only thing, but an important thing) that has remained from that ancient civilization. that is my story, and i guess i can stick to it, until someone tells me why i'm wrong.
what i know:
i know that my body is breaking down. i have awful pains in my legs. and i'm trying to get back into jogging with little success.
my one bright and shining spot in the whole week was the one hour i spent with my french tutor. je suis tres heurese. i am very happy. the bible instructs us not to despise the day of small beginnings. friday was such a day of small beginnings for me. my hope and dream is to learn french. c'est mon reve.
a bientot!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
senior citizen
my senior year at the university of texas-pan american began this week. oh my goodness! i am terrified. i don't know what i will do, or if i will graduate in may. not only do all the stars have to line-up, but so do all the classes that i need to fulfill my double major requirements. i am taking five (yes, 5) english classes. i don't think i was thinking clearly when i signed up for them. but maybe if i try to explain it to myself, it will make sense to me.
why i'm taking the 5 english classes i signed up for this semester
first of all, i'm taking English Grammar.
i don't think i need to do a lot of explaining--i need help! the class and professor seem very interesting. he has little quirks that i am teaching my brain to ignore--such as a sort of bouncing up on his toes when he speaks.
my second class is Hemingway.
i am taking this class with a professor i had last semester. he is an awesome professor and it was really an easy choice.
my third class is Development of the American Novel. i signed up for this class because i am hoping that by reading the historical novels of american history it will sort of fill out my history major. we will be reading novels such as The Last of the Mohican's, Red Badge of Courage, The Grapes of Wrath, etc.
my fourth class is Descriptive Linguistics. this class is a required course for english majors--so i really didn't have a choice. the class is surprisingly very interesting! i have learned amazing things (like why my daughters are still not speaking spanish), in the first two days of class.
my fifth class is Survey of Literary Theory. again, this is a required course for english majors. i really don't have an opinion of the class because we have been going over the rules and procedures and how to use blackboard. it actually sounds a little bit scary! ideas that are above my IQ.
there it is in a nutshell--no history classes. i told my husband that i feel like i am eating my vegetables this semester (except for the hemingway class), and i will have my dessert next semester when i can take my history classes.
why i'm taking the 5 english classes i signed up for this semester
first of all, i'm taking English Grammar.
i don't think i need to do a lot of explaining--i need help! the class and professor seem very interesting. he has little quirks that i am teaching my brain to ignore--such as a sort of bouncing up on his toes when he speaks.
my second class is Hemingway.
i am taking this class with a professor i had last semester. he is an awesome professor and it was really an easy choice.
my third class is Development of the American Novel. i signed up for this class because i am hoping that by reading the historical novels of american history it will sort of fill out my history major. we will be reading novels such as The Last of the Mohican's, Red Badge of Courage, The Grapes of Wrath, etc.
my fourth class is Descriptive Linguistics. this class is a required course for english majors--so i really didn't have a choice. the class is surprisingly very interesting! i have learned amazing things (like why my daughters are still not speaking spanish), in the first two days of class.
my fifth class is Survey of Literary Theory. again, this is a required course for english majors. i really don't have an opinion of the class because we have been going over the rules and procedures and how to use blackboard. it actually sounds a little bit scary! ideas that are above my IQ.
there it is in a nutshell--no history classes. i told my husband that i feel like i am eating my vegetables this semester (except for the hemingway class), and i will have my dessert next semester when i can take my history classes.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Dub-ya
i received my first W on my transcript during the second summer session. i had never before dropped or withdrawn from a class. ashamedly so, i feel like a loser and a quitter. i feel like i quit on something and up until then i had not been a quitter. struggle as i might have, i had never quit! due to unavoidable issues (that i don't want to go into right now), i could not see myself successfully negotiating the course.
oh well, c'est la vie!
other than that small snag, i have been fine. my next semester starts on monday, and i really don't want to think about it. i am going to be swamped with fifteen hours.
i guess we will see...
oh well, c'est la vie!
other than that small snag, i have been fine. my next semester starts on monday, and i really don't want to think about it. i am going to be swamped with fifteen hours.
i guess we will see...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
