esta semana

this week was an uproar! i had so many things due, but thank God i got through all of them.
i have been so stressed out and bummed out. i was thinking that, maybe, i will feel better if i write about them.

why i'm bummed out:

i don't know what kind of grade i will end up with in government. i am usually a very good student, but my government class has fallen by the wayside. i've been so busy with my other three classes that i haven't paid attention to assignment due dates. all i know is that this torture will be over soon.

yet another source of anxiety is my lit. test i turned in on thursday. i usually have rough drafts for my professor to look over. but, i was so busy with everything else that i didn't have the rough draft and so we will see how it goes. also, i turned in my one-act play on thursday. i didn't get to ask mrs. s-- about periods inside the brackets. i know that if it is a complete sentence inside the brackets, it definitely needs a period. but, what about when its not? i don't know.

i presented my history project on thursday. that didn't go like i had planned. i don't know what grade i will get on that either.

i'm waiting for both of my research papers to be returned. i don't know if i will get them back on monday. i have to wait and see. i think that is what is killing me, this whole wait and see business.

my house is a mess, and i need to start cleaning it.
my weight is spiraling out of control, and i need to start maintaining it.
i still haven't figured out commas, but i'm trying.
i haven't kept the books, and i need to start keeping them.

i have insomnia because of so many things i have to worry about.

i can't wait for may 15, when i will know all that i need to know. (maybe not all, but at least how i did this semester.)

The Storm is Calling Unto Me

There is a storm coming in as I write and its calling unto me. I want to hear the sound of the rushing and angry wind. My life reflects it. I have been in such a violent fit trying to finish off my semester. I have been under high-stress. I've had two research papers to finish up, a one-act play, a drama test, and a writing about history assignment all due this week! And, to top it all off, a history honors project presentation due on Thursday. I've tried the deep breaths, I've tried relaxation, and sleep. But, nothing, nothing can calm me down. Except, for the sound of the storm that I can hear through my chimney. I want to let loose like that storm. All of the clouds of anxiety and stress have gathered in my mind and soul. I would love for these forces to shake my body to its core and then be no more.

I'm anxious about what is left of this week; probably more so than what is left of my life. I can look ahead to happy years with my family. I just can't seem to look past this week with all of its fears. I often feel like I will inevitably fall flat on my face. Like I will not meet the deadline and then what? I think the stress comes because I don't see failure as an option. That is why I have this sinking feeling in my stomach when I get so close to the deadlines.

I take my leave, so that I may go hear my symphony of nature.