sweet silent solace

aahh!

i had forgotten how sweet silence can be for a weary stay-at-home mom. my daughters started school this morning, and i am again alone. all i can hear is the humming of my refrigerator, AND I LOVE IT!!!


however, i must not allow myself to be fooled. this solitary life will not last. i must go pay for my parking permit for utpa, get an i.d., and renew the inspection sticker on my car.

so, until next time.

peace...........:)

Del Mar Dream Redux

i need to revisit my "dream." or perhaps give it a make-over. i have finished the first part of my race. but, an associate's degree is only a third of my dream. i know that becoming a college professor is no small feat! but, i am learning to be patient. :)


* * *

i am still reading Villette.

more quotes:

Each mind was being reared in slavery; but, to prevent reflection from dwelling on this fact, every pretext of physical recreation was seized and made the most of. There, as elsewhere, the CHURCH strove to bring up her children robust in body, feeble in soul, fat, ruddy, hale, joyous, ignorant, unthinking, unquestioning. 'Eat, drink, and live!' she says. 'Look after your bodies; leave your souls to me."

this charlotte bronte girl was very, very astute! she is criticizing the Catholic church. but, honestly, i think any organized religion/church is capable of having this type of power over its followers. i always think of Job and how he questioned God during his time of trial. i don't think that a God who will not answer your questions or can't be questioned is not worth serving. God answered Job.

and:

"If her [speaking of Miss Fanshawe] beauty or her brains will not serve her so far, she merits the sharp lesson of experience."

she could have easily added "her youth," but then again, i guess if she wasn't young, she would be old and experienced, like the rest of us (or at least me).

disorientation

i attended a mandatory transfer orientation at utpa yesterday. i felt like it was mostly a waste of time. the fact that i am not a traditional student makes me stick out like a sore thumb. seriously, i don't need to hear about ROTC or dorms! but, oh well, what can i do, but play by their rules? i walked up and down the campus, and became more agitated by the minute. i was starving and didn't stay to register for classes. i did manage to register here at home. the historiography class and the descriptive linguistics class i wanted were closed! so, i signed up for american literature and revolutionary europe. i'm looking forward to them.

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i finished reading Jane Eyre! what a wonderful book. i think i will be a lifetime fan of Charlotte Bronte. so much so that i have started reading Villette. And again, I am hooked. reading the book is my reward for doing my hated housework. :)

some of my favorite quotes thus far:

To myself alone could I look.

AND

I say again, madame was a very great and a very capable woman. That school offered for her powers too limited a sphere; she ought to have swayed a nation: she should have been the leader of a turbulent legislative assembly. Nobody could have brow-beaten her, none irritated her nerves, exhausted her patience, or over-reached her astuteness. In here own single person, she could have comprised the duties of a first minister and a superintendent of police. Wise, firm, faithless; secret, crafty passionless; watchful and inscrutable; acute and insensate--withal perfectly decorous--what more could be desired?

this woman sounds like my Abuela Nico!! ;)

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Two pounds too many

To the two pounds I gained this weekend:

I simply cannot accept you; you must be banished altogether. I have some suspicion as to how you both got to me. But, let me retrace my eating steps. Was it the huge torta I ate with my husband's grandmother downtown on Saturday afternoon? It was certainly delicious, and I shouldn't have devoured it all. Except, I could not throw it away, particularly since Dona Blanca had paid for it. But, it had to have been more than that. I do remember stuffing my face at the Carne Asada get-together at my brother-in-law's house on Saturday evening. That certainly could have added on the pounds. And maybe, just maybe, the huge pasta dish (with all the side salad and bread sticks) I ate at the Olive Garden played a key role, as well. But enough of my eating remembrance.

What is my plan of attack to rid myself of you? I walked for 30 minutes on Monday and Tuesday, and I jogged for 30 minutes yesterday. Yet, you all will not leave. I am truly vexed and unhappy! What must I do to expiate my consuming sin? Drink water? Eat lite? I am recommitting my life to eating in moderation, and not letting my over zealous eyes have the best of me.

I don't know how long it will take me to cleanse myself of you, but I will be victorious in the end!

i am almost finished with college algebra! i will only have a month off before school starts up again. i have been a fool. i have taken too many classes, and i have not had any time off. i have been in school since last august. except for the few weeks i had in december, it has been non-stop. i feel drained. my girls have been caged up this summer, as well. my eldest daughter keeps asking me if and when we are going on vacation. i'd love to be able to tell her, but i can't. the only "vacation" might be going to houston (and that is a long shot). we will see what happens.

finito

mi clase de biologia se ha terminado!!!!!!!! gracias a Dios. y tambien a mi esposo que me apoyo para poder assistir a clases durante el mes de junio.

my biology class is OVER!!! thank you, Jesus! and also my husband who supported me (by coming home at 5:30 every day, so that i could go to class).

all i have to worry about now (and it is still a BIG worry) is my college algebra course. i know, i know, boo-hoo, woe is me! but, i don't understand a lot of it. i took two quizzes tonight. on my first attempt i scored a 71% and my second attempt was a 77%. a little better, but not by much. my question is, "Who uses logarithms in real life? Or, who graphs parabolas for a living? Really?"

my secret indulgence, however, continues to be reading Jane Eyre. What a wonderful book! although i must admit that reading it late at night has turned somewhat scary because of what Jane assumes is Grace Poole's laughter in the corridors at night. sscarry!!!
i'm off to read my gothic tale.

good night.

cry me a river of tears

i have had a heartbreaking feeling all semester long. not only that, a sinking feeling, as well. sinking because i am (like dante) descending into bigger and uglier pits of the college algebra inferno. july 23 cannot get here fast enough!!!!! it seems like an eternity. i don't know if all of the college algebra courses at del mar are this hard, or if this special torture is reserved for online students. it doesn't help that i don't have a professor, not even an online video professor. my anti-virus software thinks that the math plug-ins are evil. i have been paying a tutor to come help me out. ay, ay, ay. canta y no llores.

the one bright spot on this cumulus nimbus is that i went to utpa for the first time on sunday. i finally went to speak to an academic advisor for the fall. can you believe it? i think i'm going to take a descriptive linguistics class, a sociology class, and a history class. right now, that sounds a million times better than a biology and math class. :)

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i have started reading Jane Eyre it is a most fascinating and heartwrenching book. so far my favorite passage is:

"I am not deceitful; if I were I should say I loved you; but I declare I do not love you; I dislike you the worst of anybody in the world except John Reed...I am glad you are no realtion of mine; ...I will never come to see you when I am grown up...I will say that the very thought of you makes me sick, and that you treated me with miserable cruelty...How dare I, Mrs. Reed? How dare I? Because it is the truth."

powerful words, don't you think? i think the truth definitely has power. (i know, it is a book!) but, Jesus said, "You shall now the truth and the truth shall set you free." Now, those are words to live by.

good night.