Happy Father's Day, Dad.

Today is Father's Day.  My father passed away in September 2011, but he lives on in my heart and in my memory.  He was a good father--not perfect--because no one is perfect, but still a very good father to my siblings and me.  My dad was a hard worker.  I do not remember him ever having leisure time a la Thorstein Veblen.  He worked very hard to provide for a family with five children.  All five of them loved by him.  I was and am blessed to know and to feel that my father loved me.  My dad was gregarious.  He loved (absolutely loved!) to laugh.  He always had a warm smile for every one.

Sometimes when I take a picture of myself, I see my father's face.  I have his eyebrows and a lot of his facial features and expressions.  When I see that, I think of him and miss him dearly.  I wish with all of my heart that he had not died at what I think was the very young age of 71.  My brother told me once that he always thought my dad would live to be a very old man and that we would have him for a very long time.  His sentiment expresses how we both feel.  We are the ones that lost out on him.  We do not have him in our lives.

I always strive to do things that I know would make him proud of me.  He wanted me to speak perfect Spanish.  I still try to improve it.  He would want me to be a dedicated, responsible and hard working mother, wife, professional, person, etc.  I try hard every day.  I know that he would have also wanted me to enjoy life and laugh as much as possible. I try to do that, too.

I miss my dad's laughter.  I miss his stories and funny anecdotes.  I miss his frankness. And, yet, I know that he lives on in my memory and my life.  I am a lot like him.  My dad could be clear-eyed and tell me the truth without mincing words.  I have (much to the chagrin of my husband and my girls and others close to me) become like him in that regard.  I've been told that I can be funny, but serious when the time calls for it--just like him. When someone says to me, "You remind me of your father in that he also ..," I take that as a compliment.  I know that to a large extent, I am my father's daughter.  In John 14:9, Jesus answered Philip and said, "If you have seen me, you have seen my father."  I feel that way about my earthly father, if you have seen me, you have seen my father.  As a Christian, I want the same thing to be said about my Heavenly Father.  I want to show Christ to others and have them see Him through me.

Hello old friend,

I am back.  Albeit, a little more bruised than before by life.  I am doing all I can to stay afloat with my new endeavor I call teaching. Every Sunday night I start feeling this panic come over me as I sit down to work on a lesson plan.  I am just treading water at this point. This is my first year teaching APUSH/Dual Enrollment 1301 and it's kicking my butt something awful.

I write to you because everyone else is tired of hearing me out.  Why can't you lesson plan during the week?  Why can't you get your act together? I work all week and then on the weekends I try to catch up on the housework that needs to get done, and my how much housework it is! It is hard work.

Maybe one day I will get my act together.  Today is not that day.

Good night!