Happy Father's Day, Dad.

Today is Father's Day.  My father passed away in September 2011, but he lives on in my heart and in my memory.  He was a good father--not perfect--because no one is perfect, but still a very good father to my siblings and me.  My dad was a hard worker.  I do not remember him ever having leisure time a la Thorstein Veblen.  He worked very hard to provide for a family with five children.  All five of them loved by him.  I was and am blessed to know and to feel that my father loved me.  My dad was gregarious.  He loved (absolutely loved!) to laugh.  He always had a warm smile for every one.

Sometimes when I take a picture of myself, I see my father's face.  I have his eyebrows and a lot of his facial features and expressions.  When I see that, I think of him and miss him dearly.  I wish with all of my heart that he had not died at what I think was the very young age of 71.  My brother told me once that he always thought my dad would live to be a very old man and that we would have him for a very long time.  His sentiment expresses how we both feel.  We are the ones that lost out on him.  We do not have him in our lives.

I always strive to do things that I know would make him proud of me.  He wanted me to speak perfect Spanish.  I still try to improve it.  He would want me to be a dedicated, responsible and hard working mother, wife, professional, person, etc.  I try hard every day.  I know that he would have also wanted me to enjoy life and laugh as much as possible. I try to do that, too.

I miss my dad's laughter.  I miss his stories and funny anecdotes.  I miss his frankness. And, yet, I know that he lives on in my memory and my life.  I am a lot like him.  My dad could be clear-eyed and tell me the truth without mincing words.  I have (much to the chagrin of my husband and my girls and others close to me) become like him in that regard.  I've been told that I can be funny, but serious when the time calls for it--just like him. When someone says to me, "You remind me of your father in that he also ..," I take that as a compliment.  I know that to a large extent, I am my father's daughter.  In John 14:9, Jesus answered Philip and said, "If you have seen me, you have seen my father."  I feel that way about my earthly father, if you have seen me, you have seen my father.  As a Christian, I want the same thing to be said about my Heavenly Father.  I want to show Christ to others and have them see Him through me.

Hello old friend,

I am back.  Albeit, a little more bruised than before by life.  I am doing all I can to stay afloat with my new endeavor I call teaching. Every Sunday night I start feeling this panic come over me as I sit down to work on a lesson plan.  I am just treading water at this point. This is my first year teaching APUSH/Dual Enrollment 1301 and it's kicking my butt something awful.

I write to you because everyone else is tired of hearing me out.  Why can't you lesson plan during the week?  Why can't you get your act together? I work all week and then on the weekends I try to catch up on the housework that needs to get done, and my how much housework it is! It is hard work.

Maybe one day I will get my act together.  Today is not that day.

Good night!

What a year!!

Hello old friend,

What a year it has been, huh?  My heart is heavy because of all the tragedies that have happened this year.  If we work our way back, it has been the fires in California, the Texas Church, the NYC event, the Las Vegas, the Hurricane, etc., etc.

It has been a tough year for me, too.  I made the switch from 6 grade to 10th--AP World History.  Goodness me!  What was I thinking.  I do not struggle with behavior as much as I did in 6th grade, but I do struggle with students that really don't care enough to try hard.  I am desperately seeking a way to motivate them, to make them work, and above all, to make them learn in spite and despite of themselves.  Guess what?  It "ain't" working!!!

I panic because everyday I think that they need to be learning because at the end of the day, next August, I will be measured against every other AP World History teacher in the district.  I do not want to fall flat on my face, but I also do not want to work like a darn mule every blasted day!!  I know that as of right now I am working harder than them.  I am the one learning all of the content and they are the one copying off of me.  How stupid is that?!

Today was a rough day because of a minor discipline issue.  It was resolved, but it was unpleasant.

Don't get me wrong, there are some fun times, and there are some fine times. But, friend, they are few and far between.

Goodnight!  I'm off to Target to get my Secret Santa gift for tomorrow.

Week Deux

Well, here I am.  I have yet to lose any weight, but I have tried to be more careful with money.
I am trying to get my life in order.  I think I am going to have more success this time.  What am I doing differently?  Well, for starters, I am being brutally honest with myself and others.  I feel like at my age, I am really coming into my own.  I need to wake up and smell the coffee.  What do I want out of life?  More importantly, what does God want me to do?  I have been searching in the wrong places.

Day One

So today I ate less and I didn't spend any money.

I walked for an hour, even though I was dead tired when I came home.  Did I mention that I'm a 6th grade school teacher?  I think that explains the dead tired part and added weight gain.

My goal is to lose 10 pounds by December 16th.  We shall see what great things may come!!

Good night.

On dieting and budgeting

It just so happens that I hate both, but I have to do both.  Why, you might ask?  Well, if I don't diet and budget my life is going to continue to (ahem,) suck!!!

I was realizing today as I was walking into Target to return some impulse purchases, that I stopped having money when I started having credit cards.  My financial life is one of deep debts and dark secrets, but I believe that I can turn it around--again.  You see, this is not my first debt rodeo.  This is actually my third time being in debt and my third time that I am trying to work my way out of it.

The question, then, should be, why do I keep going into debt?  The last time I worked my way out of  of debt, I swore (a la Scarlett O'Hara) that I would never be in debt again.  Yet, here I am again.

So, I decided that I'm going to write/blog about my own getting out of debt story.  I have read/heard a lot of financial advisors such as, Dave Ramsey, Howard Dayton, Mary Hunt, and others and I know that their plans are solid.  Yet, I always regret not putting into practice the awesome advice of Larry Burkett in the early 2000s. I would listen to his radio program religiously, but unfortunately, I did not follow his advice religiously.

There are a lot of reasons why I did not follow his advice; mainly it was because I was a stay-at-home mom and did not feel like I really had any control of the money.  Even though, I must admit that I ran the finances.  I am going to chronicle my successes and failures starting today.

I find myself in more debt that ever.  But, I know that I can get out of this mess once again.

As far as my weight...what can I say?  I have been here before too.  My weight goes up and then it goes down, but I have noticed an upward trend that is now causing me alarm.  I have tried Jenny Craig and have had success, but I have no wish to spend the money for Jenny Craig.  My slim down starts tomorrow.